


Real men don’t cry: Stenbrough

by Stozier_Rights



Category: IT, IT 2017
Genre: Fix-It, IT - Freeform, IT 2017 - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stozier_Rights/pseuds/Stozier_Rights
Summary: I had to watch the deadlights scene like 200 times when writing this just make sure that the lines right so- I would also suggest watching the scene before reading this  exspecially if it’s been a while since you seen the movie. Even if you have seen it just helps the story makes sense. {Heres the link, like it’s like two minutes long https://youtu.be/nRJYirZkyuI}Trigger warnings-Mentions of suicide/suicidal behavior-Bad parenting-Mental brakedown
Relationships: Bill Denbrough & Stanley Uris
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Real men don’t cry: Stenbrough

**Author's Note:**

> I had to watch the deadlights scene like 200 times when writing this just make sure that the lines right so- I would also suggest watching the scene before reading this exspecially if it’s been a while since you seen the movie. Even if you have seen it just helps the story makes sense. {Heres the link, like it’s like two minutes long https://youtu.be/nRJYirZkyuI}
> 
> Trigger warnings   
> -Mentions of suicide/suicidal behavior   
> -Bad parenting  
> -Mental brakedown

_ Stanley Uris _

It was Stanley Uris who was hanging in the air when Richie ran into those sewers, eyes rolled back in his head and arms hanging at his sides, mouth gaping open. It's not that Richie wasn't expecting Stan, he was. It's just he wasn't expecting him to look like this. The rest of the losers were back in one of the tunnels but Richie had run ahead. He wanted to be the hero for once, he could hear them calling his name but ignored them. 

"Stanley?!" Richie yelled up towards the floating body not expecting a response but trying anyway.

He jumped up in the air attempting to grab Stan's foot but failed to bring him to the ground.

That's when Richie saw a yellow raincoat 'Georgie' he ran behind a pile of bodies before Richie could grab him "I'll come back for you Stan" he ran off towards Georgie, or at least what he thought was Georgie. ‘Maybe I can make it up to Bill' Ever since Richie went off on bill about Georgie being dead and Bill punched him they haven't been on the best of terms. So he wanted to make it up to him. 

“Rich?” 

“Richie?” 

“Chee?” 

The other losers came down the sewer drain; they all stopped dead in the tracks when they saw Stanley. 

“Stan” Bill went wide-eyed looking a the boy 

“Oh shit” was all Ben had to say 

“How is he in the air?...” Bev asked worriedly 

“Guys…” Eddie pointed up to what looked like hundreds of floating children. He took sharp breaths “Are those?” 

“There missing kids” Mike finished. “Floating” 

“Just help me grab him” Bill spoke up.

Mike hoisted Bill up so that he could grab Stans feet and bring him down, Bev helped as much as she could. 

Bill held the back of Stan's head and shook him gently. “Stan” his voice was laced with concern and he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. 

“Stanley!” He shook the boy again before looking around at the group growing more upset 

“Why isn’t he waking up?!” 

“What is wrong with him?!” A couple of tears slid down his cheeks and Mike bit his lip. He hated seeing his friends like this. 

“Stanley please!” 

He hugged Stan's body, more tears falling “Come on”, that was when he pulled away from the high grabbing Stan's face and looking into his lifeless white eyes, he hesitated for a moment before crashing his lips onto Stans. 

“Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah-“ Eddie 

“Ew” Mike

“Uh, Woah” Ben 

“Wow” Bev

When Bill pulled away, Stan regained consciousness. He pulled away from Bill's hands and took a sharp gasp in. 

“Stan?...” 

“Bill…” 

“Jesus fuck” Bev said pulling the two into a hug followed by Mike, Eddie, and Ben.

… 

Stan laid in his bed staring at the wall. He couldn’t sleep for the life of him, there was one thought keeping him awake. What he saw in those damn deadlights, so he sat staring at his wall. The room was completely dark but he could make out one thing In front of him, and that was a drawing of a bird; pacifically a Black-crested Titmouse.

Bill had drawn it, Stan and him had gone bird watching. It was the first time they went together, and Bill didn’t know a damn thing about the birds' Stan was babbling about but he just enjoyed his presence, he was happy to be there. The curly-haired boy had pointed out a bird sitting on a branch and Bill decided to draw it. 

When it was finished Bill signed it with a heart before tearing it out and handing it to Stan. Stan probably smiled bigger that day then any day in his life, that simple drawing signed with a heart made him so happy. That stupid little heart. His stupid heart.

Stan tore himself away from the memory of that day focusing on his thoughts again. Stan thought about the future, his future, the fact that he wanted to spend his future with Bill. Even though there was no way that Bill would want to spend his future with him of all people Bill was normal. Bill didn’t think of boys the way Stan did, the way you were supposed to think about girls. 

It’s not like Stan had much of a future anyway, he saw what lies ahead for him, he saw his future, he saw all his hopes and dreams ripped away from him. It was all, right Infront of his face. He saw it all, all the tears, all the blood, god there was so much blood. Stan felt tears welling up in his eyes but the second one rolled down his cheek he wiped it away quickly “No Stanley real men don't cry” He repeated to himself those words that his father had said to him all those years ago. 

Stan was eight and just learning to ride a bike when he fell off scraping his knees and hands. Stan began crying as any child would but his father wouldn’t have that

“No Stanley, real men do not cry. Now stop that and stand up” 

And so he did, he stood to his feet sniffling and wiping his tears away 

“O-ok papa” 

“That’s sir to you and don’t stutter it makes you sound incompetent” He spat harshly. 

The words stung like venom to Stan but he listened, as he always did with his father.

"Yes sir…"

Stan sat up in his bed, his chest feeling tight "I can't do this…" he mumbled to himself before looking over at his nightside table. He reached over and picked up the landline phone before dialing Bill's home number without thinking about it. He prayed to God Bill would pick up and not one of his parents. "H-Hello?..." Bill's groggy voice came through and Stan smiled a bit just hearing Bill's voice made him happy. "Hey Bill'' The boy cringed at how hoarse his voice was, he hated it. 

"St-Stanley?... It's nearly th-three in the m-m-morning. Is everything o-ok?" Stan didn't realize it was that late. He felt like a jerk for waking Bill up over his problems "Yeah I'm sorry for calling you- just go back to sleep I'm sorry" Stan went to hang up the phone when he heard Bill's voice come through the phone again. 

"W-wait Stan don't hang u-up" Bill's voice sounded more concerned now. Stan pulled the phone back to his ear nervously "Yeah?" 

"W-what's wrong? You o-ob-obviously didn't call me at t-three am for n-n-nothing" 

Stan sighed "I- I shouldn't have called you I'm sorry" 

"St-Stan if you d-don't tell me what's w-wrong I will c-come over there…"

"Bill don-" Stan began to protest but it was no use. The line had already gone dead. Bill had hung up. Stan flopped back on his bed "Dammit. Why the hell did I call him?"

…

Tap tap 

Stan jumped slightly as Bill taped on his window. He stood from his bed walking over and opening the window. "Bill, why are you here? I told you not to come" he said with a sigh. 

"B-b-because I'm w-worried about 

y-y-you" 

"Don't be I'm fine" 

Bill sighed stepping in from the window 

"How'd you even get up here it's the second floor" 

"Climbing" 

Stan sat back on his bed again he noticed that bill was still in night clothes "You really didn't have to come here" 

Bill shook his head and sat next to him "I-I needed t-to" 

Stan looked at his hands fiddling around nervously before blurting out "Why did you kiss me?" He slapped his hand over his mouth instantly regretting it.

Bill swallowed thickly "Y-you re-remember that?” Stanley nodded “Y-y-you w-w-wouldn't w-w-w-wa- s-shit." 

"Bill calm down it's ok…" "You, You wouldn't w-w-wake up I was s-so t-terrified of lo-losing y-y-you. It was the f-first thing I-I t-t-thought of, l-like in the fah-fairy tales. I-I'm suh-sorry" Bill was a stuttering mess, and he didn't normally stutter around Stan. Because he was always comfortable with him so it was clear he was nervous.

"Don't be" Stan said looking at Bill "You saved me, don't apologize"

"Is t-that what was b-bothering you?" Stan bit his lip and shook his head 

"It's not the past that's bothering me, it's the future-" god Stan must be really tired because he's blurting out everything. Bill looked at Stan and raised an eyebrow. "Wh-what?" 

Stan shook his head "Never mind forget I said anything" 

Bill shook his head and held onto Stan's shoulders so he had to look at him. "Stanley talk to me" no stutter. 

Stan turned his head avoiding Bills gaze "Bill-" 

"No e-excuses tell me" 

Stan felt a tear run down his cheek, he wiped it away instantly not wanting Bill to see it. But he did "St-Stanly, you don't have to h-hide from me" 'real men don't cry' Stan shook his head "No real men don't cry they keep in inside" Bills face somehow saddened even more "And w-who the h-hell gave y-you that idea. B-b-bowers?" Stan shook his head "No my dad he's always said it… and he's right…" Bill shook his head hard "Don't y-you ever listen to h-him" 

"I've listened to him my whole life, why not anymore?..." he asked tears rolling down his cheeks, he just wasn't able to keep it in anymore. 

Bill took a deep breath “Stanley this i-isn’t you what’s going o-on?”

Stan took a shaking breath before caving in. "In the deadlights, I saw something. I saw the losers club, all of us except we were older. Probably in our forties" he took a deep breath, his hands trembling "I- I saw how we all-" his voice started shaking "I saw how we all die…" Bills eyes went wide as his gaze dropped to the floor.

"I saw how I die…" Stan was still looking away, not able to face Bill. Bill looked back up not saying a word, just in pure shock.

"It all happened so quickly… there was so much blood, god so much blood…" "And I-I did it to myself…" 

"W-what?!" Bill exclaimed, probably too loudly.

Stan looked at him for the first time since he started explaining. Tears were brimming his eyes and his lip was quivering. "I killed myself Bill…" All words felt stuck in Bill's throat.

"N-no it must 've b-been f-f-fake like e-everything else. It was to s-scare you" 

Stan shook his head "No Bill…It wasn't fake"

The tears that were flowing from Stans's eyes quickly turned into sobs racking his whole body. He gave in as salty tears poured from his eyes. Stan had only cried a couple of times in his life. Three to be exact. 

The first when he fell off his bike (8 years).

The second when his pet bird died (11 years).

And the third right now, when everything caught up to him (13 years).

Stan never had cried this hard. He had never sobbed. He felt weak, he felt like a little boy who couldn't stand up for himself, a little boy who couldn't control his future. 

"I don't want my life to end that early. I don't want to lose everything. I don't want to take my own life" Stan choked out in-between tears. 

Bill pulled him into a tight hug holding him and rubbing his back "Shhh i-its ok'' Stan melted into his touch and cried into Bill's shirt probably soaking the thing. He buried his face in Bill's neck calming down slightly and taking deep breaths "That's r-right just b-breath." Bill's face was resting in Stan's soft curls. They smelled like coconut and we're like clouds to lay on. Something was calming about Stan's hair that never quite put a finger on but he had always loved it. 

Stan began to drift off to sleep, Bill rubbing his back and holding him calmed him more than anything in this world could. He was sure he would face hell for this tomorrow if his mom or god forbid his dad found them but right now that didn't matter to him. Nothing mattered, not what he saw in the deadlights, not crying, not even his dad. At that moment all that mattered is that Bill was warm. All that mattered was Bill.

"Th-the future wi-will come but I'll al-always be here and I will ne-never let anything ha-happen to you." 

Everything Bill said was true and he knew he would never leave Stans side. 

Stan decided from this point on he would never try and hurt himself again, he would do what it takes to not go out that way. To live the life he wanted to and the way he wanted to. And he was gonna do it with Bill, he felt safe with Bill Like he was home 

All tension was gone from Stan's body at this point as he slowly drifted into sleep.

For once not repeating the words his dad had said, but instead the words Bill said.


End file.
